I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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