Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
