The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Terrible idea I love it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
