I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
