ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
