My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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