Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
