My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
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I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
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hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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