Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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