just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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