who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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