My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
