Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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