All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you will always have a special place in my vag
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
