I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
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just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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