Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
