How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
