Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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