I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
