About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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