i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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