mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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