no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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