I need help removing her.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
