Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
