ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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