I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
