can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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