Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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