I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
please don't ironically join a cult
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