I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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