Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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