Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize