If that was your dad, he is hot
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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