I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
