i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
