my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
