I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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