did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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