she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She even gives head with a lisp.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
