Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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