The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
