No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
