youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
