Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
