ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
there is glitter all over my balls
He did a backflip because drugs
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
