Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
