how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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