He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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