K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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