His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
