Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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