she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
